• Kimmy Pang

How to Deal with a Breakup

Not every relationship is gonna be perfect and if at any point it doesn’t work out, just remember that everything’s gonna be okay

Let it out

It'll hurt like hell but it'll pass even if at the time it doesn't seem that way. Take this time to just let it out. Have a tub of ice-cream, watch a bad movie, talk to those closest to you and just cry it all out. You’ve been with him/her for a good amount of time and there were bound to be happy memories that’d be difficult to erase. Dealing with the breakup isn’t about forgetting him/her, it’s about letting go. Let go of the things that remind you of him/her; holding on is just going to make healing more difficult even if it hurts much lesser cause you're holding on to the hope that you two would get back together - but why hold on when he/she was willing to let you go?

I've had friends who've broken up with their partners and after some time of healing got back together and it's completely fine to do that; they've gone through the time of being apart, fixing themselves, realising that they made the mistake of letting their other half go and came back stronger than before. But in the early stages of the breakup, that's not what you should be focusing on, use this time to heal.

Time to heal

Don't hold on to the negative thoughts too much after you're done letting it all out. I've noticed that people tend to change something about themselves after a breakup eg. their hairstyle/lifestyle. The attitude of "out with the old and in with the new" is really the way to move forward. The change is a way of expressing that you're done with feeling hurt and you can live life without the person that once made you laugh; because you can determine your own happiness.

At this stage, don't fall into the trap of drowning yourself in hatred. Take up new hobbies and explore new places, do anything that fills you with joy and excitement. It's not going to be easy to push yourself through that when all you wanna do is stay in your room and cry a little more. That's why you need to just take that first step of wanting to heal before it gets easier. This time, it's all about you.

Emotional Rollercoaster

The next few weeks after the breakup will be an emotional rollercoaster ride. There are days you're gonna feel good and you'd think you're totally over it; then there are days you miss him/her like crazy and do stupid things like drunk text him/her. Maybe not a great idea to be drinking your sorrows away even if it numbs the pain.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. There are people who still love you and you need to accept that - sooner better than later. Don't push them away because you're hurting and don't use those closest to you as an outlet for your pain/anger.

Love yourself before you let others love you

Be honest

Be brutally honest with yourself about how you can be better. Every relationship has its own issues and breakups can happen due to a number of reasons and not all of them are gonna be your fault. Even so, take this time to reflect on yourself on whether you like where you're at now. Are you happy you've become the person you are now or can you make a change to grow. You can only go up from here so there's really no harm trying.

You're not proving to him/her that you can be a better version of yourself. You're letting yourself become someone you can be proud of; and if you do decide to get back into a relationship when the right person comes along, you'd have grown into someone they'd never ever be willing to let go.

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