• Kimmy Pang

Let It Go

As Marie Kondo says, "If it doesn't spark joy, let it go"

Have you been in the position where you realised you've tolerated a lot of mean things from people you call your "friends" and start to value yourself more than the "friendship"?

I've been hearing about that a lot lately from the people around me and truth be told, I've been in the same situation, everyone has. It can be either friendships which start out great but turn sour in the end, or meeting a wolf in sheep's clothing. For the latter, let's just hope that in a lifetime you and I don't meet too many of them.

We don't set out to meet bad people. It's just luck. Some people do mean things intentionally and some are just really unconscious of their actions.

Whether we want to admit it or not, jealousy can bring out the worst in the best people. To give you some context here, it’s story time:

Girl A befriends girl B. They start hanging out more often. Girl A seems to be living her best life - meeting new friends, doing well in life and just practically having nothing to complain about.

Girl B starts making subtle unfriendly remarks about girl A and girl A brushes it off, assuming it’s jokes. Girl B continues with the snarky remarks but letting it happen more frequently now (because she gets away with it); she puts on a front and becomes extra friendly with people she barely knows but treats girl A like a stranger despite the years of friendship. Girl B (unknowingly?) acts out of line and tries to embarrass girl A during gatherings thus creating awkward situations. Girl B becomes more toxic and talks behind girl A's back. Girl A keeps putting up with it even after finding out about the things that's been said about her by girl B. Girl A questions the friendship she has with girl B and wonders if this is a friend worth keeping.

If you were girl A, what would you do?

If many of you are thinking, confront girl B: what if girl B doesn't listen?

Have you ever been in the position of girl B? And do you ever ask yourself why?

Do you think it's because you feel undermined no matter how hard you try? The real question is how do you think treating someone poorly would make you a better person?

This is a very common example of how great friendships become bitter. We’re all wired to be competitive in nature but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be supportive of each other too. Healthy competition is necessary to strive towards becoming better but it shouldn’t spark any negativity whilst fighting for what you want. You can either choose to stay or walk away from the people who are dragging you down.

I used to stay, convincing myself I was content with the friendship - and I was happy during the good times. As more time went by, I found myself getting more confused and uneasy with the situations I've been put in during every outing/meet-up. Eventually, I was drowning in the excuses I’m making for the people who don’t make me feel good about myself; and sometimes even for the ones that don't even matter. I got so emotionally tired from it all and slowly took steps forward to leave the bad vibes behind.

With the first instance of change, it gets easier to say 'enough is enough' and stand up for yourself when you need to.

There’s nothing wrong about wanting to be around people who make you happy

For everyone who’s dealing with difficult people in their lives, we’ve all been there; some more so than others. It’s how you deal with it that matters.

Thanks for staying till the end and I hope you’ve enjoyed this read!

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Much love xx

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