Q & A Pt II
There's been a lot of questions about various posts and specific things that you'd like to know about so I thought it was very much due for a second part of Q & A
Who should be the one paying on dates - the man or the woman?
I’d say both. We’re in the 21st century and women can very well earn their own money to buy the things they like and so can men. It’s during special occasions that one might go out of their way more for the other in the relationship. There just shouldn’t be an expectation that either one of you should always pay more than the other; it IS a nice gesture when the other wants to do so, just not all the time. This in turn builds a mutual respect on each other's independence in the long run - making the relationship stronger.
Tips on studying effectively and making notes when you were back in college/university?
Everyone studies differently using various methods eg. mind maps, study groups etc. I found it effective in using Youtube videos for more thorough explanations for Maths/Physics questions (college) and bits on Biology (university). If you’re a visual learner, this would be useful for you.
I learnt better using personally summarised notes cause it’s easier to understand and remember. I’d read something the first time, go through it again to highlight key points and then typing my notes up. Summarised notes are very useful especially when you need to go through some bits quickly the night before the big exam.
Have you considered studying in Australia instead of the UK?
I DID in fact almost study in Australia when I received an offer for Year 12 studies. It was closer to home and a lot of the people I knew already decided to further their studies in Australia. But for some reason, colleges and universities in the UK appealed to me more (it really is personal preference and what you look for in a college/university). The deciding factor between Australia and the UK was that the A-level qualification would offer me a wider variety of options when the time came to decide where I'd want to complete my tertiary education.
After settling in to the environment here in the UK, it was a no brainer for me to stay and complete my degree. I didn't want to go through the hassle of settling in another foreign country and starting afresh again.
Are you/Jae the clingy one in the relationship? How do you deal with him/her when he/she’s busy and has less time for you?
I'm definitely the clingy one in this relationship. Initially it was tough but I tried channelling this feeling into something healthier to occupy myself when he’s not there e.g. self-development. This can be in terms of trying to achieve my goals or doing something I like instead of moping around - currently that’s sorting out my next blog post, reading a book, gym time, me-time with my fav beauty masks etc. He’s helped in making it easier as well by calling and comforting me when I feel a tad bit emotional at times.
How do you keep the spark going even after being together for such a long time?
Gosh we’ve been together more than 6 years now and I think what works for us is the constant reminder to never stay too comfortable. It’s a balance between being comfortable in a relationship and taking each other for granted. It’s nice to see each other and plan a day out to just spend time together; it doesn’t have to be filled with activities but just enjoying each other’s company. We try and celebrate occasions together and it's really the fact that we're willing to go out of our way to make it special for each other.
Is it normal to not want to text your partner at all but show love only when you meet face-to-face?
There’s no perfect way in making a relationship work so if you’ve found something that works for the both of you, go for it. You might not have plenty to say to each other on a daily basis as you might have different jobs or may be in different time zones; so giving each other space to sort their lives out might be a good thing too. Just remember to make time for each other as well and update them accordingly when you do actually meet!
Will you and Jae be staying in the UK for good? Any thoughts of settling back in Malaysia?
I can’t say for sure cause who knows what the future holds! We want the experience of working here in the UK but obviously Malaysia is always home, so we’ll see in the next few years.
What’s a gift I can give my boyfriend during his birthday/Valentine’s?
I struggle with this all the time. It's all the usual guy stuff that I went for (shirts, wallets, belts, leather bracelets) with an extra handmade item or something more sentimental (cause I'm mushy that way). My rationale in this is that anybody can buy him the same type of gifts so I'd go for the added girlfriend-type gifts too - scrapbooks, framed photos, art projects (paper roses in boxes, Valentine's exploding box).
Do you ever feel like exploring (in terms of seeing more guys) whilst you’re in a relationship with him?
Straight up no cause we're not in an open relationship. I respect him enough to treat any guy I meet as a friend and he'd do the same for girls. If you're not in a relationship and are just dating then maybe that's acceptable as long as both you and the guy/girl you're dating are aware that both are seeing other people because it hasn't been made official. Once you've reached the relationship phase, focus on what you have and make it flourish. Put your energy and heart into it cause you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
Can you share how you maintain your body shape and how tall you are?
I'm 172cm tall. I try to stay consistent with my workout schedule and it really helps when you have a gym partner that pushes you. Now, my routine is weekly HIIT sessions and I focus on strength and conditioning. Also, it's not ONLY about the gym sessions; it's about what you eat at home. I've been trying to incorporate healthier options eg. switching white jasmine rice to black rice, wheat pasta instead of the ordinary, having my 5 a day etc. I don't believe in dieting and I do give in to my sugary cravings too, but on a daily basis just trying to eat healthier and keeping hydrated makes me feel less lethargic at work. Packing lunch to work is also a big plus, because I have more control over what I eat. If you're scratching your head over packed lunch ideas try reading lunchbox meal prep!
Girls can be sensitive souls. How did you overcome the jealousy phase in the relationship?
I don't think that the jealousy stage will ever pass but it just becomes less of a concern the longer you are with him/her. It's sometimes a good thing to show your other half that you still care if he/she's around other girls/guys; but being too extreme about it can become toxic on a relationship too.
In this day and age, it's normal for both we and our partner to have friends of mixed genders and we should embrace that. What you can do is trust your partner and give him/her the freedom to meet other people but trust them to not cross the line. Talk to him/her about it and discuss on how he/she can give you the reassurance you need.
Thanks for leaving me questions on my Instagram page everyone! If I haven't answered your questions here, feel free to message me there so I can answer you personally!
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Much love for staying till the end xx
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